Throughout my work as a psychotherapist and intuitive channel, I have witnessed just how pervasive a lack of self-acceptance is in denying us the life we want to live. Are you fed up feeling sorry, done with feeling undeserving? Are you ready instead to connect to all that is sacred in you and to live unapologetically? Below are the three simple (though not necessarily easy) steps for successfully revamping your relationship with yourself so that you can live an unapologetic life.
Upgrade How You See Yourself
Bring your vision of self to a sacred level. Step back and look at the larger picture. Chances are you are already living your higher purpose, so celebrate YOU!
Riley* came to me in search of a greater sense of purpose in her life, feeling as though she was “letting herself and the world down by not doing more”. As a mother of three young children, Riley doesn’t have much time for herself, yet she was longing to feel connected to her mission—to have meaningful impact in the world. Clearly, from the outside we can all observe that as a mother of three young kids she is living meaningfully. But from the angle at which she was examining her life, she felt like she was missing out on giving the world what she has to offer. By widening her lens towards Spirit, she was able to see the many ways she gives to the world daily, including through her three children. She shifted her perspective towards the process we go through as souls upon incarnating into life.
For Riley’s this includes the idea that prior to incarnating, we choose our earth family based on how it will best set us up to learn what we come here to learn. With this perspective salient, Riley sees that her children each consciously selected her as a spiritual guide to teach them in this life and help them remember their mission. Riley’s feelings of being connected to a larger purpose shifted instantly. Indeed, she is a guide both within and beyond her immediate family. That which she teaches her children about unity, connection, kindness and non-judgement, is taken out into the world through her children and how they engage with their environment; how she mothers has an exponential impact.
And the best part is, this shift in perspective led to instantaneous changes in her sense of self; she no longer feels like she is letting herself or the world down by not living her mission but sees how she is already contributing to uplifting humanity in a meaningful way.
Bring a holy lens into your life and see the ways that you’re already in service of Spirit so you can have reverence for yourself!
Upgrade How You Talk to Yourself
What tone, words and energy do you use when addressing yourself? Ready to transform your life through the power of the word?
Mark came to see me feeling frustrated, describing his life as a “series of traffic jams.” He was longing for ease and to reconnect with feeling deserving of it. In listening to him talk about his experience, I was struck by the very harsh language he used in reference to himself and his situation in the world. Mark’s frustration was clearly keeping him frustrated. By mirroring back to him his own language, he became aware of how his negative self-talk had become automatic and unconscious. I asked him to track his language for one full day.
Mark noticed how dramatically the way he spoke to and about himself was casting him in a life he did not enjoy. Given that each one of us is an aspect of All That IS, Source, God, Goddess, whatever your description, speaking to oneself disrespectfully, dishonors that Divine within us.
Mark began to employ the Buddhist perspective of Right Speech and bringing consciousness to the words he used, committing to using language that honors the divine within him. Mark noticed the transformation unfold fast, and the felt experience of frustration fell away almost immediately, opening his life to ease, progress and deservedness.
Challenge yourself to use only high vibration language when addressing yourself. Watch how quickly it aligns you with your sacredness, helping you unapologetically express your gifts and truth with greater ease!
Upgrade What You Believe About Yourself
What are the beliefs you hold about yourself? These directly impact what shows up in your reality.
Andrew sought clarity about why his life felt, “vanilla”. Not bad but not great. He expressed he lacked confidence. As a young child he felt he was here for something significant, that he knew he was special. This was true he explained, all the way up until he was in high school. It was then, he said, that this feeling receded. And he wanted it back. In tracking his beliefs about himself, it became clear that his diagnosis of ADD made him feel like he wasn’t capable of being successful. As he got older and teachers demanded more of him, he began to feel like he was worthless. He was always getting in trouble for not “listening,” not getting work done on time, and his test scores reflected his state of mind rather than his intellect.
Andrew had come to believe he was not good enough and he felt ashamed off his ADD. By examining his belief in himself he was able to observe how it prevailed in all aspects of his life and how it kept him from living to his potential. He worked to shift his erroneous belief that his ADD is a deficit and has come to understand that despite the challenges it presents, it is also a blessing, allowing him to experience the world multi-dimensionally.
For Andrew, while his ADD manifests as distraction and lack of focus, it also involves the capacity to notice and tune into many things at once, giving him perspective not everyone has. Altering his belief about his ADD and seeing the ways it actually serves him and supports his greatness, overhauled his beliefs about himself. Now unashamed of his ADD, he can know himself as he did when he was a child—as divine and special.
Asses the beliefs you hold about yourself. Do they need an upgrade? Can you reformat outdated beliefs to live unapologetically?
* All names in this blog series have been changed.
Seana Zelazo, LICSW is a psychotherapist, spiritual coach and intuitive channel committed to helping us living unapologetically, by restoring balance within and without through the wisdom of the Goddess. Look for her upcoming book on the Sumerian Goddess Inanna in 2022. seanazelazo.com