What happens when you expect something and it does not happen? Do you become disappointed, frustrated, ticked off, or is it is no big deal? Usually it depends on the expectation you had, who you had the expectation of and the situation. To be blunt, if your heart is involved, the expectations can be more convoluted. Human beings make expectations of everything and everybody every day.

YIKES… that is a lot of expecting.

Most of the time we do this without even knowing we are doing it. We are hard-wired. Most of the expectations we have are valid and normal. Expectations are spoken and unspoken and written in some unseen rulebook. Sometimes they are agreed upon but most time they are assumed. And we all know what happens when you assume. (You make an ass out of you and me! Ass-u-me) Hey, I learned that that in 9th grade English.

Recently, I had high expectations in a professional setting. I had some big money involved. OK, not big, big money. But my time, attention, and enough money showed I was serious about my part of the transaction. I was all in! I was in hook, line, and sinker! The fish was on and reeled in. I was the fish. When my expectations were crashing and burning, I could feel a physical reaction. I was angry, sad, and embarrassed. How could I let this happen? I was smarter than this. Did anyone else notice? What was I missing?  I was doing mental loop d’ loops.

I realized that my expectations were high because of two reasons. One, the information was not advertised correctly. I expected something bigger because of all the flash and sparkle.  And secondly, I let my emotions overlook some red flags. Why, because I had built up expectations in my mind.  I was paying the price, literally, of having unrealistic and assumed expectations.

In a professional setting, we can let things like this go much easier. You learn from your mistake and usually, you deal with it professionally. You can return a product, ask for your money back, or not give a business anymore of your business. But what if this was a personal issue where your heart is involved? You can’t go on Yelp and leave a bad review. You can’t return your mom, sister, or spouse. Well, maybe you can try to return your spouse. But let’s assume you will keep them.

When a family member does not live up to your expectation in the relationship, you can have a serious talk about expectations. Yours, theirs, and whoever else involved. Find out if they can live up to your expectations or if you can live up to theirs. It just might be time to get realistic. Adjust and be flexible. Get out of your head and understand most of the time others have no idea you expected so much.

Now, what about those amazing individuals who exceed your expectations?! Heck, not everyone or every business will let you down! Think about the coach, teacher, parent, friend, or family member that has done more than their required title. Celebrate them. Say Thank you!

Celebrate your day… I expect it to exceed your expectations!


Misty Tyme is a Speaker, Reverend, Death Doula, author of the book The Forgiveness Solution, and host of the podcast The Forgiveness Solution.