Things I Am Not (And Why That Sets Me Free)
I’m sitting at a concert surrounded by glittery cowboy boots, miniskirts, and hats with more personality than most LinkedIn bios.
The air is thick with perfume, fringe, rhinestones, beer, and bravado. I’m watching a generation of young women live out their sparkly western fantasies in full expression — dancing, laughing, unapologetically being. And I’m over here, a contemplative mystic in blue jeans and sneakers, sipping water like it’s holy, while quietly deconstructing the architecture of identity and ego alongside this cowgirl communion.
I don’t belong here.
And that’s exactly the point.
Because today, I’m falling in love with all the things I am not.
And in doing so, I’m finding something truer than identity ever promised to be.
I used to roll my eyes at crazed Sunday football fanatics and 30-year-old video gamers. I silently judged flashy bedazzled outfits, designer bags, people who post dinner pics, and influencers flaunting perfect morning routines with butterfly-wing eyelashes.
I thought I was more conscious. More awake.
(How adorably asleep of me.)
But these days?
I’m watching the wild swirl of human expression with a holy kind of reverence. Because every sequin is part of the spectrum.
Every bass drop, every hoop earring, every outfit, every dance move is a facet of the Whole — flashing its divine complexity in high definition.
And honestly?
She’s over there dancing in sequins and fringe. I’m sitting here dissolving my ego. We’re both beautiful.
The myth was: spiritual awakening meant becoming someone. A radiant being of clarity and purpose, with high-vibe light leaking from every pore.
But the real mystery school? It teaches something wilder.
That it’s not about becoming someone.
It’s about unbecoming.
Becoming no one in particular. Just presence. Spacious aliveness. Watching it all unfold:
The cowboy boots.
The soul downloads.
The judgments that still whisper.
The radical forgiveness that floods in.
The sudden joy at someone else’s wild freedom.
These days, my spiritual practice is letting go of the need to identify at all.
Not as a mystic. Not as a leader. Not even as someone who “gets it.”
Because the moment I think I am something, I’ve already stepped out of the Whole.
Let’s be real:
I’ve got some radical creative expression tucked away in me too.
Soul poetry that howls.
Cosmic comedy routines that never make it to the mic.
Rage art.
Holy sensuality.
Ideas that vibrate with dimensions I don’t have words for.
And yet, I keep her inside.
Tidy. Poised. Palatable.
Spiritual, but not too loud. Disruptive, but still acceptable.
And tonight — surrounded by sparkle and sweat and yeehaw energy — I’m asking:
What part of me is still hiding?
What part is still judging?
What part is still mistaking authenticity for identity?
And what if every expression is God trying on another costume?
Because here’s the thing:
Radical acceptance isn’t passive. It’s psychedelic.
It turns every person into a portal.
Every outfit into an oracle.
Every stereotype into an invitation to lay down your weapons of judgment
and bow to the wild multiplicity of Being.
Because I am not that.
And I am also that.
And I am not this.
And I am all of it, and none of it, and something altogether unnamed.
I don’t belong here — in this stadium filled with Gen Z women in high-heeled hysteria, in a rhinestone rebellion — and I am absolutely at home.
Right here. Right now.
So here’s to the glitter.
To the mystics who boogie in silence.
To the cowgirls who teach us about freedom without saying a word.
To the dismantling of who we thought we were.
And the irreverent beauty of becoming no-thing
so that everything can dance through us.
Because identity is so last season.
And the truth is far more sparkly than anyone expected.
Dr. Julie Krull is an Evolutionary Leader, award-winning author, dynamic speaker, and popular talk show host with her finger on the pulse of transformative change, conscious evolution, and what’s working in the world. Dr. Julie is a respected visionary, spiritual guide, and co-creative mentor for high-impact individuals poised to lead radical shifts and magical breakthrough solutions for their communities and organizations. Called “Renaissance woman for the Dawning Unitive Age” by peers, she is the host of The Dr. Julie Show: All Things Connected, founder of the nonprofit, Good of the Whole, and steward of the Connection Field and Imaginal Souls.
